


Sunshine Of Your Love

by foreverinprinxietyhell



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Aromantic Character, Asexual Character, Asexuality Spectrum, Coitus Interruptus, Dorks in Love, Established Relationship, Fear of losing a loved one, First Time, Heart-to-Heart, Losing My Motivation, M/M, Making Out, Panic Attacks, Self Confidence Issues, Sobbing, Virginity, experienced Patton, reassurance, serious conversations, supportive boyfriend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 04:14:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14204820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foreverinprinxietyhell/pseuds/foreverinprinxietyhell





	Sunshine Of Your Love

“Elementary my dear… daddy. Wait, no!”

Stuck on an endless loop as the sentence uttered was overanalyzed, for Logan was aware of how it would be taken; he had been in a relationship bordering on close to ten months with a slightly older man, yet the topic of intense intimacy had not come up in conversation. Hints had been dropped that the other wanted to pursue that particular topic sooner or later and he thought that it would not be such a bother with someone he had been with for so long, yet that phrase proved as uncomfortable as he had felt in the moment it had been used. 

“Oh, what were you thinking?!” he chided aloud, punching the bridge of his nose in annoyance at the simple fact that no thought had been put in when a tongue betrayed him, “How’re you going to break this to Pat?”

“Whatdya mean, babe? I’m well aware of what a little tease you can be…” 

Stomach immediately dropping at what had been feared the most the scholar turned to face his long-term partner as a soft blush colored usually rosy cheeks in embarrassment at how forward the statement had been. Pressing thickly rimmed glasses up with the tip of his index finger, Logan began to speak when stutters started to impede smooth speech upon realizing how shy his counterpart appeared; how could the studious one be so selfish to deny a craving that could not comfortably requested aloud? Trying to gulp past the lump forming in his throat the short distance between them was crossed as lips locked lightly after the clinking of similar eyewear came to a stop, which was a detail the two never seemed to correct since it became a part of their romantic ritual.

“Oh, Lo… I’ve been waiting to hear something like that from you.”

“You have? How long?”

“For as long as I’ve loved you, silly!” Patton exclaimed in a chipper tone that was always used, nose crinkling in an extra expression of excitement as hazel eyes sparkled brightly, “I didn’t expect you to be the type to wait…” 

“My apologies, dear.”

“No need! Do you want me to lead?”

Simply nodding at the offer a surprised squeak was let out at being swept up into unexpectedly strong arms before being placed gently onto a meticulously made mattress, floating in the cosmos until a slight weight pressed down to anchor him in place. Both blinded by a mixture of love and the absence of their identical glasses the couple clumsily clashed foreheads together as Logan’s wrists wrapped behind the bent neck as heated breath blew against his neck as it was exposed with the removal of the navy and black pinstripe tie. Blinking back tears that threatened to leak down the side of his slightly upturned face his thoughts blended into near silence while the unfolding scene was evaluated, guilt replacing wanting to fulfill the other as a covered cock rutted into his thigh while nips turned into stronger bites. 

“Careful, or you’ll draw blood.” 

“Sorry, I can’t seem to help myself when I’m around you. Is this okay?” he asked after chuckling out the comment as buttons started to slip out of place, plush pink pressing in a line down to to his navel, “Don’t wanna move too fast for the inexperienced.”

Cringing at the additional commentary that was only meant as playful banter the scholar hummed in answer; if his heart had not been threatening to freeze mid-beat it would have come to a full stop then at a constant reminder that Patton had been with another in a way that he would never fully comprehend, salt burning the semi-healed wound open for more infection during a brief moment of recalling jealousy at seeing his boyfriend with an older person who only went by Deceit. Finally, they were together, yet for some unknown reason there were no yearnings for sexual conquests even though the other expressed how deeply of a want it was supposed to be. Was he broken?

“Lo, sweetheart?” 

“S-Stop.”

“Of course, I wouldn’t go on without your say so,” the moral one mused barely above a whisper, laying a few inches away in order to calm down from lust driven decisions from overriding common sense, “It’s okay if you’re having second thoughts, we don’t have to.”

“All I’m doing is disappointing you though!”

“You could never… Look at me, baby boy, please?”

Reluctantly lifting his blurred vision as waterworks washed over the brink of light lashes like twin waterfalls he let out a broken sob at the concerned look contorting facial features that had been illuminated with light brighter than any star. The moment was ruined and it was all his fault and this would only further provide evidence that they were not meant to be together despite how far they had come, how hard he had fought against false words whispered in the dead of the night…

 _“Logan?”_

“Go ahead and do it already, break up with me…”

“Honey, no… Why would you think I’d do that?”

“I’m flawed… I-I can’t satisfy you.”

“Where did you hear that from?”

“D-Deceit…”

Flinching harshly at the intensity of whiskey hued irises burning with a certain intensity he ducked down into the safety of the other’s chest where muffled cries threatened to choke him into unconsciousness when a soft hush was let out with light pecks pressed into his scalp, “He’s wrong.”

“How?! Y-You like that sort of treatment, so what kind of boyfriend am I to be unable to give any of it?”

“You’re the partner who remembers my lunch orders from every restaurant we’ve been to, who writes me little love letters when I’m upset, and you always set out a cup of tea for me in the morning! You’re the reality that I need to keep me sane.”

“Doesn’t that get tiring though, don’t you want more than that?” 

“Not if you don’t want it, I’d never want to make you uncomfortable for my benefit. That wouldn’t be fair.”

“I dunno if I do or not… Oh Pat, I’m so confused!” 

“Well, guess what?” he asked with the same hushed tone, a silky smooth palm cupping around his cheek as a thumb brushed away drying tears, “I’ll be here no matter the outcome. If we never get to that point it won’t change the way I feel about you.”

“I guess that helps to hear…”

“Why don’t we do some research?”

Sniffling at a glob of snot that had formed, Logan’s attention was averted to the mention of learning extensive information that he had foolishly overlooked in favor of fretting over feelings he had been so hesitant at acknowledging for such a long period previously to becoming boyfriends. Still shirtless he pressed into the protective arms wrapped around a thick waist as his bare back pressed into the knot in cardigan sleeves, a laptop filling boxer clad thighs as letters left light impressions in his fingertips as a result of furiously fast typing, eyes squinting at out-of-focus font until spectacles were put back into place.

“Find anything yet?”

“Maybe this could work…?”

“It makes sense seeing as how long it took for you to be comfortable with cuddling,” Patton remarked with no judgment as he agreed with an identity on a spectrum, his chin resting on a slightly slumped shoulder, “I’m so sorry, Lo.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I assumed you had a… Sexual side. Not everyone does and I lost sight of those things.”

“Pat…”

“Please, let me make it up to you?”

“You already have by being here and helping me come to terms with a part of myself that I overlooked myself and you’ll continue to do so. Want to know why?”

“I would, actually.”

“Because you’re the sunshine of my love.”


End file.
